OK, don't be mad at me but I couldn't mail the letter yesterday. I felt that it was something that I didn't want to do with out talking to my dad first. I had been keeping my mom up to date on all this and totally had her support... but we both thought it would be right to talk to my dad first.
Of course he was supportive... like he would be anything but! We had a long talk about not knowing who I look like. He shared a story about his older brother who had a child and left the child when she was young and she never knew anything about her dad, my uncle. She used to call my dad and ask him questions about my uncle. Pretty much the same questions I have, who do I look like, medical history, quirks and so much more. He was so sympathetic to this and to what I am going through right now. My dad's father walked out on their family when he was 8 years old and they only saw each other once more when my dad was 14. My Aunt Cleo, whom I love to death, always wanted to know more about her father, But Aunt Cleo respected her mother and never looked for him while her mother was alive. Once she passed away Aunt Cleo started her search and found him, however he had passed away a few months before they were able to find him.
What if that happens to me? I think that would be an odd thing... I don't know how I would feel about that. I think I would be OK with is as long as someone in the family would agree to provide me with a medical history and a picture...
So remember I told you I am an MTV-a-holic? Well today they are having a "True Life" about 2 mothers who are putting their children up for adoption. And yes I am watching it. I am totally fascinated by watching the reverse of my situation. But this one is alot more different than the 16 and pregnant.... I'm not as emotional this time around. They really aren't connecting with me this time around. So I think I am going to be able to keep my emotions in check this time around! WooHoo! I can't usually do that on a normal day so if I can pull it off today... wow!
On another subject... today I am getting to meet some of Chris' work friends. Talk about nervewracking!!!! I think this trying to look for my self/my past is really funking with my confidence. If this were something for work I would so not be nervous... however trying to impress his co-workers is so stressfull! What if they don't like me? What if I am the only fat one there.... ?!?!?! STRESS!!! I have no idea what I am going to wear... but thankfully I still have 2 and a half hours to get ready... :)
Ok I am off to get in the shower and get ready to impress! Wish me luck...
Oh and tonight/tomorrow I get to fill my Aunt Janet in on this whole adoption thing... she's one of the people in my family who's always been supportive of me. So lets see how this goes!!!
I am mailing the letter Monday... no exceptions!!
Saturday, July 25, 2009
Friday, July 24, 2009
The Letter...
Dear Russell * *******,
Hello. I cannot believe that I am finally sending this letter, I am so nervous and would have hand written this but I think I would have shaken the pen too much.
I am writing this to you as I am looking to locate someone who put up a baby girl, born April 27, 1981, for adoption. I was born in Torrance, CA at the Little Company of Mary Hospital. I do have some information on my birthmother but nothing with a recent address as the records are from my time of birth in 1981. I am looking for my birthmother, Tarin Bridget Osborne. I have been doing some research and I have found that you may be her brother. I have also located a second brother, Patrick in **********. I am also going to send him a copy of this letter as well.
In the records I have she did state that she would like to be contacted by the child if they wish it, well I’m wishing! I am looking for nothing more than to find out who I look like, where I get my quirks and to see if there is any important medical history that I need to know. I want to let you know that I am an established young woman who is the General Manager of a 100 room Hotel in Southern California. I am currently living in a small apartment, no more than 3 miles from my parents in Southern California. I grew up in a very loving and supportive home with wonderful parents and a great extended family, but I have always wondered who I look like and where I get some of my quirks. My parents have always been more than supportive of me searching for her and are with me 100% on trying to find her. I truly believe that Tarin made the best choice possible for me and I would love the opportunity to thank her for blessing me with the gifts she did. I am not looking for money, housing or anything like that, just a conversation and perhaps a relationship with someone I consider one of my hero’s.
If you can please pass my information on to her I would be eternally grateful. I don’t know if anyone agreed with her decision or if this is something that no one wanted to talk about, but it’s something that has been with me every day of my life for the last 28 years so any help you can give me will go a very long way! If she does not wish any contact from me can you please also let me know so I don’t go through life wondering.
Thank you so much,
Erin Coggins
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
I haven't mailed the letter yet... I'm nervous... what if they say nothing back to me... What if she wants nothing to do with me. I am so scared... If I didn't have the friends I have here supporting me and helping me through this I don't think I would make it!
I love you all.... Keep tuned for the next installment... after I mail the letter...
Thank you for being so patient! I swear no more long blogs...
Hello. I cannot believe that I am finally sending this letter, I am so nervous and would have hand written this but I think I would have shaken the pen too much.
I am writing this to you as I am looking to locate someone who put up a baby girl, born April 27, 1981, for adoption. I was born in Torrance, CA at the Little Company of Mary Hospital. I do have some information on my birthmother but nothing with a recent address as the records are from my time of birth in 1981. I am looking for my birthmother, Tarin Bridget Osborne. I have been doing some research and I have found that you may be her brother. I have also located a second brother, Patrick in **********. I am also going to send him a copy of this letter as well.
In the records I have she did state that she would like to be contacted by the child if they wish it, well I’m wishing! I am looking for nothing more than to find out who I look like, where I get my quirks and to see if there is any important medical history that I need to know. I want to let you know that I am an established young woman who is the General Manager of a 100 room Hotel in Southern California. I am currently living in a small apartment, no more than 3 miles from my parents in Southern California. I grew up in a very loving and supportive home with wonderful parents and a great extended family, but I have always wondered who I look like and where I get some of my quirks. My parents have always been more than supportive of me searching for her and are with me 100% on trying to find her. I truly believe that Tarin made the best choice possible for me and I would love the opportunity to thank her for blessing me with the gifts she did. I am not looking for money, housing or anything like that, just a conversation and perhaps a relationship with someone I consider one of my hero’s.
If you can please pass my information on to her I would be eternally grateful. I don’t know if anyone agreed with her decision or if this is something that no one wanted to talk about, but it’s something that has been with me every day of my life for the last 28 years so any help you can give me will go a very long way! If she does not wish any contact from me can you please also let me know so I don’t go through life wondering.
Thank you so much,
Erin Coggins
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
I haven't mailed the letter yet... I'm nervous... what if they say nothing back to me... What if she wants nothing to do with me. I am so scared... If I didn't have the friends I have here supporting me and helping me through this I don't think I would make it!
I love you all.... Keep tuned for the next installment... after I mail the letter...
Thank you for being so patient! I swear no more long blogs...
The Emails...
My heart stops in my chest as I read this email from a stranger who in one day digs up more information than I ever put out on the Internet.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
From: RN4babies
To: Erin E. Coggins
ReplyTo: RN4babies
Subject: To Erin, from your profile on from Registry.Adoption.com
Sent: Jul 22, 2009 2:21 PM
I believe that if "Osborn" was your birth surname of your birth mother "Taren" - that this is likely you on the CA birth index under your birth name - it is listed twice - this is typical in adopted children:
last name/ first name/ middle name/ date of birth/ mother's maiden
name/ gender/ county
OSBORNE 04 27 1981 OSBORNE FEMALE LOS ANGELES SOLLENBARGER 04 27
1981 OSBORNE FEMALE LOS ANGELES
This would be "Taren" -
OSBORNE TARIN B 08 07 1962 SCHOENFE FEMALE LOS ANGELES
Tarin has 3 older brothers (2 of which are twins) and 1 younger sister.
Tarin was married at the age of 21 in 1984 in Los Angeles - and it looks like she has 2 daughters and one son.
Birth father (surname of SOLLENBARGER) looks like he may have 2 children born in CA - one male and one female - but not for sure??
Please email me - I can send you more info.
Kindest regards,
Michelle
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
Wow... I sat in my office in shock... who was this woman... how did she find that all?!?!!? So I wrote back to her....
Hello,
I don't know who you are but you are dead on with some of the information I didn't place on the internet. Do you have any more current information on her?
Thank you so much,
Erin
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
About an hour later I get an long reply from her...
-----Original Message-----
From: rn4babies
Sent: Wednesday, July 22, 2009 9:19 PM
To: erin
Subject: Re: To Erin, from your profile on from Registry.Adoption.com
Erin -
I help others with finding adoption information - I guess I'm a sort of search angel. You're very fortunate you had birth mother's name to work with! Here's some more of what I found.
California Marriage Index, 1960-1985
about David B Long
Name: David B Long
Age: 22
Est. Birth: abt 1962
Spouse Name: Tarin B Osborne
Spouse Age: 21
Est. Spouse Birth: abt 1963
Date: 20 May 1984
Location: Los Angeles
OSBORNE RUSSELL S 01 21 1958 SCHOENFE MALE LOS ANGELES
OSBORNE JEFFREY C 11 13 1959 SCHOENFE MALE LOS ANGELES
OSBORNE PATRICK M 11 13 1959 SCHOENFE MALE LOS ANGELES
OSBORNE TARIN B 08 07 1962 SCHOENFE FEMALE LOS ANGELES
OSBORNE SUSAN L 12 11 1965 SCHOENFE FEMALE LOS ANGELES
People Search: TARIN born 08/07/1962<< Search Again 2 Matches Found (100 max.) Name/AKAs Phone Address City, State Possible Relatives
1. OSBORNE, TARIN B (Age 46)
Associated names:
LONG, TARIN B
LONG, TARIN O
LONG, TARREN O
OSBORNELONG, T
Available(6) Available
TORRANCE, CA
RANCHO PALOS VERDES, CA
HARBOR CITY, CA
SAN PEDRO, CA
LONG BEACH, CA
SANTA MONICA, CA
Possible Relatives:
OSBORNE, DONNA M (Age 73)
AOSBORNE, JACKIE L (Age 52)
OSBORNE, RUSSELL S (Age 51)
LONG, KENNETH O (Age 85)
LONG, DAVID BRODLEY (Age 48)
LONG, DONNA D
LONG, LORAINE V
OSBORNE, PATRICK MICHAEL (Age 49)
RELONG, DANIELLECHELSEA
Possible Roommates / Associates:
RODRIGUEZ, DAVID J (Age 66)
BISIGNANO, LOUISCHARLES (Age 64)
2. OSBORNE-LONG, TARIN (Age 46)
Available RANCHO PALOS VERDES, CA
Possible Relatives:
OSBORNE, TARIN B (Age 46)
I'm not sure which of these children are hers (if any)
LONG AMBER LAURINE 06 24 1983 OSBORNE FEMALE SAN BERNARDINO
LONG DARIN BRADLEY 07 03 1985 OSBORNE MALE LOS ANGELES
LONG DANIELLE MARIE 03 12 1987 OSBORNE FEMALE LOS ANGELES
LONG CHELSEA SAMANTHA 09 23 1988 OSBORNE FEMALE LOS ANGELES
There are only EVER 3 people born in California with this surname - not sure if they're the same father - but it's a possibility.
SOLLENBARGER 04 27 1981 OSBORNE FEMALE LOS ANGELES
SOLLENBARGER 08 24 1990 MALE LOS ANGELES
SOLLENBARGER 08 17 1995 FEMALE LOS ANGELES
I can find some more info in the a.m.
Kindest regards,
Michelle
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
How does this woman know so much?!?!? I am so blessed that this woman reached out and is helping me. There is no way I could do this on my own.
I've been sharing this with my family as the days go by... well really it's only been 3 days... but still. I can not believe I am one step closer to knowing who I look like.
Ahhh I remembered I forgot to tell you why it was a secret of sorts... If you have ever seen my family... my mommy and daddy and I all together there is no way you would be able to tell that I am adopted. I am the prefect blend of my mother and father. I have my fathers eye color, his built, I have my mom's hair color. They both have thick hair just like me. I am pale like my mother when she's not using the self tanner. I am a perfect blend of both of them. When I was younger no one would believe that I was adopted. My parents would have to back me up on it, I will try and post a picture of all of us so you can see what I am talking about.
Thursday the 23rd...
I get another email... This one I am not going to post simply because it has phone numbers and addresses. But can you believe it! Addresses!!! Phone Numbers!! I almost passed out, I didn't know what to do with all this information!!!! I finally calmed down... I have addresses for Tarin's older brother Russell and for Patrick, her Mother-In-Law and her son. I only have phone numbers for the last 2 and somehow I don't think I want to call them. What if she didn't tell them anything, what if they have no idea I exist and I am out here. If she did not tell them, then it is not my place to do so for her. I decide I am going to write a letter to my Uncles (I really don't know what they are...) I am going to post the letter because I think it is an important letter.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
From: RN4babies
To: Erin E. Coggins
ReplyTo: RN4babies
Subject: To Erin, from your profile on from Registry.Adoption.com
Sent: Jul 22, 2009 2:21 PM
I believe that if "Osborn" was your birth surname of your birth mother "Taren" - that this is likely you on the CA birth index under your birth name - it is listed twice - this is typical in adopted children:
last name/ first name/ middle name/ date of birth/ mother's maiden
name/ gender/ county
OSBORNE 04 27 1981 OSBORNE FEMALE LOS ANGELES SOLLENBARGER 04 27
1981 OSBORNE FEMALE LOS ANGELES
This would be "Taren" -
OSBORNE TARIN B 08 07 1962 SCHOENFE FEMALE LOS ANGELES
Tarin has 3 older brothers (2 of which are twins) and 1 younger sister.
Tarin was married at the age of 21 in 1984 in Los Angeles - and it looks like she has 2 daughters and one son.
Birth father (surname of SOLLENBARGER) looks like he may have 2 children born in CA - one male and one female - but not for sure??
Please email me - I can send you more info.
Kindest regards,
Michelle
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
Wow... I sat in my office in shock... who was this woman... how did she find that all?!?!!? So I wrote back to her....
Hello,
I don't know who you are but you are dead on with some of the information I didn't place on the internet. Do you have any more current information on her?
Thank you so much,
Erin
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
About an hour later I get an long reply from her...
-----Original Message-----
From: rn4babies
Sent: Wednesday, July 22, 2009 9:19 PM
To: erin
Subject: Re: To Erin, from your profile on from Registry.Adoption.com
Erin -
I help others with finding adoption information - I guess I'm a sort of search angel. You're very fortunate you had birth mother's name to work with! Here's some more of what I found.
California Marriage Index, 1960-1985
about David B Long
Name: David B Long
Age: 22
Est. Birth: abt 1962
Spouse Name: Tarin B Osborne
Spouse Age: 21
Est. Spouse Birth: abt 1963
Date: 20 May 1984
Location: Los Angeles
OSBORNE RUSSELL S 01 21 1958 SCHOENFE MALE LOS ANGELES
OSBORNE JEFFREY C 11 13 1959 SCHOENFE MALE LOS ANGELES
OSBORNE PATRICK M 11 13 1959 SCHOENFE MALE LOS ANGELES
OSBORNE TARIN B 08 07 1962 SCHOENFE FEMALE LOS ANGELES
OSBORNE SUSAN L 12 11 1965 SCHOENFE FEMALE LOS ANGELES
People Search: TARIN born 08/07/1962<< Search Again 2 Matches Found (100 max.) Name/AKAs Phone Address City, State Possible Relatives
1. OSBORNE, TARIN B (Age 46)
Associated names:
LONG, TARIN B
LONG, TARIN O
LONG, TARREN O
OSBORNELONG, T
Available(6) Available
TORRANCE, CA
RANCHO PALOS VERDES, CA
HARBOR CITY, CA
SAN PEDRO, CA
LONG BEACH, CA
SANTA MONICA, CA
Possible Relatives:
OSBORNE, DONNA M (Age 73)
AOSBORNE, JACKIE L (Age 52)
OSBORNE, RUSSELL S (Age 51)
LONG, KENNETH O (Age 85)
LONG, DAVID BRODLEY (Age 48)
LONG, DONNA D
LONG, LORAINE V
OSBORNE, PATRICK MICHAEL (Age 49)
RELONG, DANIELLECHELSEA
Possible Roommates / Associates:
RODRIGUEZ, DAVID J (Age 66)
BISIGNANO, LOUISCHARLES (Age 64)
2. OSBORNE-LONG, TARIN (Age 46)
Available RANCHO PALOS VERDES, CA
Possible Relatives:
OSBORNE, TARIN B (Age 46)
I'm not sure which of these children are hers (if any)
LONG AMBER LAURINE 06 24 1983 OSBORNE FEMALE SAN BERNARDINO
LONG DARIN BRADLEY 07 03 1985 OSBORNE MALE LOS ANGELES
LONG DANIELLE MARIE 03 12 1987 OSBORNE FEMALE LOS ANGELES
LONG CHELSEA SAMANTHA 09 23 1988 OSBORNE FEMALE LOS ANGELES
There are only EVER 3 people born in California with this surname - not sure if they're the same father - but it's a possibility.
SOLLENBARGER 04 27 1981 OSBORNE FEMALE LOS ANGELES
SOLLENBARGER 08 24 1990 MALE LOS ANGELES
SOLLENBARGER 08 17 1995 FEMALE LOS ANGELES
I can find some more info in the a.m.
Kindest regards,
Michelle
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
How does this woman know so much?!?!? I am so blessed that this woman reached out and is helping me. There is no way I could do this on my own.
I've been sharing this with my family as the days go by... well really it's only been 3 days... but still. I can not believe I am one step closer to knowing who I look like.
Ahhh I remembered I forgot to tell you why it was a secret of sorts... If you have ever seen my family... my mommy and daddy and I all together there is no way you would be able to tell that I am adopted. I am the prefect blend of my mother and father. I have my fathers eye color, his built, I have my mom's hair color. They both have thick hair just like me. I am pale like my mother when she's not using the self tanner. I am a perfect blend of both of them. When I was younger no one would believe that I was adopted. My parents would have to back me up on it, I will try and post a picture of all of us so you can see what I am talking about.
Thursday the 23rd...
I get another email... This one I am not going to post simply because it has phone numbers and addresses. But can you believe it! Addresses!!! Phone Numbers!! I almost passed out, I didn't know what to do with all this information!!!! I finally calmed down... I have addresses for Tarin's older brother Russell and for Patrick, her Mother-In-Law and her son. I only have phone numbers for the last 2 and somehow I don't think I want to call them. What if she didn't tell them anything, what if they have no idea I exist and I am out here. If she did not tell them, then it is not my place to do so for her. I decide I am going to write a letter to my Uncles (I really don't know what they are...) I am going to post the letter because I think it is an important letter.
The start...
Finding Myself...
Are you wondering what that means? I'll let you in on a little secret... I'm adopted.
Let me tell you a bit about my family and maybe you'll get why this is a secret of sorts. My wonderful mother, Mommy, married my wonderful father, Daddy, in the late 70's. They had both been married before. Mommy was married to an artist, Don. Don claimed he was going to make it big one day. I think the only thing big about him was his Farrah Hair-Do, his Tom Selleck bushy moustache and his nose. Seriously in their wedding pictures, which are sooo rare, he looks like he's going to fly away... I am going to see if I can find one! So after a few years she finally got wise and realized he was never going to change and never going to do anything so they got divorced... meanwhile on the other side of LA... Daddy was married to his high school sweetheart, Connie. I think I should mention that they graduated in 1954, so by the late 70's it had been a long while. They had 4 kids between them. A boy, A girl, and then 2 more boys. Connie has always been a part of our lives, they were lucky as they weren't and still aren't always trying to kill each other with looks at family functions. Actually they all get along!
After Mommy's divorce and she a few of her closest friends went down to Mexico to relax. While there she met this tall, dark and Hispanic man who was trying to sell her a blanket. She politely refused many times however she finally bought the blanket. And that is how they met, we still have the blanket. They dated for only a few months and married shortly after in Rosarito Beach, Mexico. They honeymooned in Hawaii... they have the cutest pictures of them, they were so young... well at least my mom was. ;) Neither of my parents look anything like their ages, which is funny at times.
When they returned home they tried for a baby, only to find out that my mother could not have children. My mother was crushed, she always knew that she was going to be a wonderful mother and would love a child with all her heart.
My Aunt D worked as a hairstylist in the OC and knew about my parents struggle. In talk with her client one day she learned that her clients niece was pregnant and was looking to place her child up for adoption. The story goes that Tarin (that's my birth mother's name) was working at a Ski resort in Lake Tahoe and she met Will (that's my birth father's name). They fell in love and conceived me! :) Well once they came back to reality they both realized that they didn't want to get married simply because they had a child. Which makes sense... think about all those people out there who get married because they have a child and how it can turn out. So Tarin decided it was best to give the child up for adoption.
Well my Aunt D contacted my parents and let them know of Tarin and her situation. After months of letters between the adoption lawyer, agencies, and letters of recommendation from all their friends they were finally approved. :) WooHoo!!!
So skip forward a few months.... I don't really know what happened cause I was still kinda in her tummy....
My mom got a call that I was about to be born. She had come up with this silly code with my dad that who ever found out first would call the other one and say either "Erin is doing fine" or "Kyle is doing fine". They still didn't know which plumbing I was going to have. ;) So my mom is trying her best to concentrate on work and the task at hand when she gets THE call... "Erin is doing fine" my father told her. She was elated and rushed out of there and to the Hospital to see me.
They got to hold me a short while after I was born. My mom said it was love at first sight. :)
There were complications with finalizing my adoption. My birth father didn't want to give me up, he held on to the hope that they would get back together eventually and would want me. So his father wanted to take me away to Hawaii and raise me until they got back together and wanted me again... My parents finalized the adoption and I was theirs!
Jump forward about 10 years...
We're living in Memphis and my best friends at the time were our neighbors that lives across the street Kristen and Colleen. Somehow Kristen had over heard our parents talking about my adoption and was trying to make me mad by telling me that I was not their daughter and so on. You know how mean kids can be... So I went inside and asked my mommy what it all meant. She made me wait til my father got home to talk about it. Just so you know I am not a patient kid... it killed me. But when he got home they explained it all to me and told me when the day came they would be there for me and they would help me find her.
Jump forward 8 more years...
On my eighteenth birthday they gave me this huge binder that had everything about my adoption in it. All the paperwork Tarin and Will had filled out. All the letters my parents friends wrote about what good parents they would make and about how I was going to go to a loving home. It was one of the best things I've ever gotten.
Jump forward another 10 years...
I am a part of the MTV generation... anything they put on I'll try and watch. So I got hooked on their new show 16 and Pregnant. I watched every week and loved seeing what it was like to be a mother. Chris (my boyfriend and love of my life) and I would watch it and wonder how it was going to be for us. Finally they started showing previews for the finale... Where a 16 year old mother gives up her baby girl for adoption. Kinda almost hits too close to home. My mother was 18 just so you know. ;) So we record the show and it sits in our DVR for about 2 weeks...
Finally I decide I can do this I am going to watch it. So we take our usual places on the couch and flip it on. I make it through a few minutes until the adoption agent asks if the mother would like a "hello goodbye" moment. I break down and start sobbing. It hits me all at once... the questions come flying in... "Did my mother have one of those... if not why?.... Does she think about me?.... Is my birthday a special day for her?.... does she still love me?.... would she be proud of me today?" Poor Chris... he's sitting there holding me as a I cry like a baby. Guys are not trained in this kinda stuff... but I'll give him lots of points.
Monday the 20th was kinda a low day for me. After watching the episode it really makes me think about things and the answers that I want. All day I pondered the same questions, near the end of the work day I get into a discussion with Marlinda (my BFF), Kim (an Employee) and Chris about it. It was interesting to hear how the episode was viewed from the other side. The question was brought up about how would I feel if Tarin got pregnant the next year and kept the baby. Would I be mad? And the answer was no. I know that what she did for me was what she thought was right and i love how my life has turned out. I was raised by the most loving family and I have the best friends around me. I love my friends but they don't understand.
So Tuesday the 21st, I decide to do something about this nagging I've been feeling. So I Google Adoption. There are so many results! I click on Adoption.com... interesting website. It tells me that the fastest way to get things started is post that I am looking for her on their free website. So I do. I don't post anything to personal, I know alot about her family but I don't know how this will help. So I post my birthday, the city I was born in, Her full name and that's it.
Wednesday the 22nd... I get some junk mail about "helping me look for only $300"... not interested in that. I go about my work day not thinking about it. I am looking at my emails on my Blueberry at about 9pm and notice an email from an address I don't know. RN4Babies... so I open it....
Are you wondering what that means? I'll let you in on a little secret... I'm adopted.
Let me tell you a bit about my family and maybe you'll get why this is a secret of sorts. My wonderful mother, Mommy, married my wonderful father, Daddy, in the late 70's. They had both been married before. Mommy was married to an artist, Don. Don claimed he was going to make it big one day. I think the only thing big about him was his Farrah Hair-Do, his Tom Selleck bushy moustache and his nose. Seriously in their wedding pictures, which are sooo rare, he looks like he's going to fly away... I am going to see if I can find one! So after a few years she finally got wise and realized he was never going to change and never going to do anything so they got divorced... meanwhile on the other side of LA... Daddy was married to his high school sweetheart, Connie. I think I should mention that they graduated in 1954, so by the late 70's it had been a long while. They had 4 kids between them. A boy, A girl, and then 2 more boys. Connie has always been a part of our lives, they were lucky as they weren't and still aren't always trying to kill each other with looks at family functions. Actually they all get along!
After Mommy's divorce and she a few of her closest friends went down to Mexico to relax. While there she met this tall, dark and Hispanic man who was trying to sell her a blanket. She politely refused many times however she finally bought the blanket. And that is how they met, we still have the blanket. They dated for only a few months and married shortly after in Rosarito Beach, Mexico. They honeymooned in Hawaii... they have the cutest pictures of them, they were so young... well at least my mom was. ;) Neither of my parents look anything like their ages, which is funny at times.
When they returned home they tried for a baby, only to find out that my mother could not have children. My mother was crushed, she always knew that she was going to be a wonderful mother and would love a child with all her heart.
My Aunt D worked as a hairstylist in the OC and knew about my parents struggle. In talk with her client one day she learned that her clients niece was pregnant and was looking to place her child up for adoption. The story goes that Tarin (that's my birth mother's name) was working at a Ski resort in Lake Tahoe and she met Will (that's my birth father's name). They fell in love and conceived me! :) Well once they came back to reality they both realized that they didn't want to get married simply because they had a child. Which makes sense... think about all those people out there who get married because they have a child and how it can turn out. So Tarin decided it was best to give the child up for adoption.
Well my Aunt D contacted my parents and let them know of Tarin and her situation. After months of letters between the adoption lawyer, agencies, and letters of recommendation from all their friends they were finally approved. :) WooHoo!!!
So skip forward a few months.... I don't really know what happened cause I was still kinda in her tummy....
My mom got a call that I was about to be born. She had come up with this silly code with my dad that who ever found out first would call the other one and say either "Erin is doing fine" or "Kyle is doing fine". They still didn't know which plumbing I was going to have. ;) So my mom is trying her best to concentrate on work and the task at hand when she gets THE call... "Erin is doing fine" my father told her. She was elated and rushed out of there and to the Hospital to see me.
They got to hold me a short while after I was born. My mom said it was love at first sight. :)
There were complications with finalizing my adoption. My birth father didn't want to give me up, he held on to the hope that they would get back together eventually and would want me. So his father wanted to take me away to Hawaii and raise me until they got back together and wanted me again... My parents finalized the adoption and I was theirs!
Jump forward about 10 years...
We're living in Memphis and my best friends at the time were our neighbors that lives across the street Kristen and Colleen. Somehow Kristen had over heard our parents talking about my adoption and was trying to make me mad by telling me that I was not their daughter and so on. You know how mean kids can be... So I went inside and asked my mommy what it all meant. She made me wait til my father got home to talk about it. Just so you know I am not a patient kid... it killed me. But when he got home they explained it all to me and told me when the day came they would be there for me and they would help me find her.
Jump forward 8 more years...
On my eighteenth birthday they gave me this huge binder that had everything about my adoption in it. All the paperwork Tarin and Will had filled out. All the letters my parents friends wrote about what good parents they would make and about how I was going to go to a loving home. It was one of the best things I've ever gotten.
Jump forward another 10 years...
I am a part of the MTV generation... anything they put on I'll try and watch. So I got hooked on their new show 16 and Pregnant. I watched every week and loved seeing what it was like to be a mother. Chris (my boyfriend and love of my life) and I would watch it and wonder how it was going to be for us. Finally they started showing previews for the finale... Where a 16 year old mother gives up her baby girl for adoption. Kinda almost hits too close to home. My mother was 18 just so you know. ;) So we record the show and it sits in our DVR for about 2 weeks...
Finally I decide I can do this I am going to watch it. So we take our usual places on the couch and flip it on. I make it through a few minutes until the adoption agent asks if the mother would like a "hello goodbye" moment. I break down and start sobbing. It hits me all at once... the questions come flying in... "Did my mother have one of those... if not why?.... Does she think about me?.... Is my birthday a special day for her?.... does she still love me?.... would she be proud of me today?" Poor Chris... he's sitting there holding me as a I cry like a baby. Guys are not trained in this kinda stuff... but I'll give him lots of points.
Monday the 20th was kinda a low day for me. After watching the episode it really makes me think about things and the answers that I want. All day I pondered the same questions, near the end of the work day I get into a discussion with Marlinda (my BFF), Kim (an Employee) and Chris about it. It was interesting to hear how the episode was viewed from the other side. The question was brought up about how would I feel if Tarin got pregnant the next year and kept the baby. Would I be mad? And the answer was no. I know that what she did for me was what she thought was right and i love how my life has turned out. I was raised by the most loving family and I have the best friends around me. I love my friends but they don't understand.
So Tuesday the 21st, I decide to do something about this nagging I've been feeling. So I Google Adoption. There are so many results! I click on Adoption.com... interesting website. It tells me that the fastest way to get things started is post that I am looking for her on their free website. So I do. I don't post anything to personal, I know alot about her family but I don't know how this will help. So I post my birthday, the city I was born in, Her full name and that's it.
Wednesday the 22nd... I get some junk mail about "helping me look for only $300"... not interested in that. I go about my work day not thinking about it. I am looking at my emails on my Blueberry at about 9pm and notice an email from an address I don't know. RN4Babies... so I open it....
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